Down 2 pounds!
Sorry this blog is so late. It's harder to write these blogs now that I'm going to a morning meeting rather than an evening meeting. Before my routine was after my WW meeting to grab Subway, go home, turn on the Biggest Loser, and write the blog while I watched. Now, I have classes and work before going home. So it slipped my mind.
BUT, I didn't want to just skip this week. For one, BECAUSE I LOST! And for another, BECAUSE I HAD CHOCOLATE AND STILL LOST!
The chocolate is a big success for me this week. I was stressed and at school working. School hasn't been ridiculously difficult this semester, but the firm I work at via the internet has been needing me to work a lot more than usual.
So I was at school late one night, and I had like 10 Points left for the day, but I wasn't really hungry so much as just needing something sweet. The problem was I don't keep any food at my carrel and all the chocolate bars in the vending machine are over 12 Points. I knew myself well enough to know that if I bought a candy bar, I wouldn't be able to stop eating halfway.
So I was in great pain. I was craving chocolate so bad, but couldn't have any.
But could I?
I went downstairs and a buddy of mine was still at school, so I asked him if he wanted half of a Twix. WHO IS GOING TO SAY NO TO HALF A TWIX? NO ONE, PEOPLE, THAT'S WHO! And a single Twix bar is 6 points. So I got my chocolate, (which satisfied my craving) my buddy got free chocolate, and everyone's happy. AND I LOST!
So that was a good moment for me. It did get me thinking, though, that I needed a system at school where I could have access to chocolate that won't break me Points-wise but isn't at my desk all the time.
My solution: I bought a bag of Fun-Sized Snickers (4 Points) and asked another buddy if I could stash the bag in his carrel, which he agreed to. So now I know I have access to a bag of chocolates, but his carrel is not near mine, and I won't be tempted to go over there five times a day.
My struggle this week was still the doubt leftover from last weigh-in. I went to bed every night wondering if anything I'd done that day would help me at the scale. If I hadn't lost again this week, I would have been heartbroken and completely defeated.
Also, there was a night last week while I was waiting for sleep where the fear came back. I started remembering a bunch of experiences I had when I had lost all the weight, and it scared me. All I could do to calm myself was to acknowledge that I'd gone through it, and hopefully now I am smarter and will be able to not fall into the same problems.
This week's song is from Alice Russell's "Citizen." I heard the song on The Blacklist and immediately fell in love with it (As well as basically every other song from that show). I have lost a total of 7 pounds in 3 weeks. That is good. I am so relieved it is working again.
Be safe this week, everyone. Make good choices!
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