Kind of hurts when the kind of words you say kind of turn themselves into knives...

Stayed exactly the same.
I went to the meeting knowing that this could happen. You don't lose 125 pounds and be a WW leader without knowing that a big loss one week is generally followed by minimal to no loss the next. I know this. I knew this.
But somehow it still bother(ed) me. I went in thinking at least I could pull out half a pound. I went in thinking "But I stayed on track. Even though it was so hard this week, I stayed on track. So I must have lost something."
This is when losing weight is the absolute worst. Sometimes your hard work just won't show. You can't do anything about it, sometimes. While you can have total control of other aspects of what your body does, your body sometimes does its own thing.
So I'm not going to lie. I got really down on myself. I kept thinking back on my week and thinking "I shouldn't have eaten that. I should have gone to the gym that day. Maybe I'm incapable of losing weight? What if I can't lose weight?" I was hurt.

And then I started worrying what I would do with my hurt feelings. I started actually getting afraid that this would discourage me enough to not go to WW anymore.

I guess the good thing is that those feelings made me realize how badly I wanted still to be healthy. I still want the convenience of being thin. I still want to have that assurance that I won't be susceptible to certain medical problems because of my weight.
When I realized that this was still a huge deal to me, I felt embarrassed by how hurt I was by my week. Because how many times have I urged other people to keep going after a not-so-good week? And who's to say that my week was a bad week? I didn't gain anything. I stayed exactly the same. I didn't go backwards. I'm fine. I'm still averaging 2.5 pounds a week! Which is amazing!
There's this song by Jason Mraz, "Beautiful Mess," that I identify with. It's about this girl who is just full of contradictions and how he loves her because of that. It's sort of my beacon of hope type song- because I feel I'm full of contradictions. But today I was listening to the song, and it came to the part where he sings, "And it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say kind of turn themselves into knives." Oh, Jason. You know me so well :) You always hear about how you should treat yourself like you would treat others. But it's so much easier said than done.
This week, like I said above, was difficult. The first few days were hard because I was in a snacky mood. Not hungry. I just wanted to constantly be snacking on something. And then my asthma medication ran out and my doctor wasn't coming into the clinic for a few days. I still worked out for the first couple days and was fine, but then my asthma problems started coming back, and I haven't been able to work out. Luckily, the doctor comes back in today, and I should be able to take my asthma medicine again tonight. But it was a hard week.
I'm on track, though. Still diligently counting my points. Still moving as much as I can.  I'm hoping for a good week this week.
I will keep you all updated! Be safe this week, everyone! Make good choices! :)